My farewell was AWESOME, and it had absolutely NOTHING to do with me. Kyle, Keith, and Rhiannon flew into town. It has been so fun having them here. Steph also drove from Provo. It was our last weekend together. Let's not even talk about how sad that makes me. I felt so loved having everyone come to support me. Our house was PACKED, but it's all good. My whole family showed up to the church on Sunday. I loved looking at the back of the chapel and seeing all of their faces. It made me so happy. I felt the Spirit so strongly, and was tearing up before I even began my talk because the intermediate hymn was "Lead Kindly Light". I love that song, but I should've known not to request it before I spoke because it makes me cry EVERY DANG TIME. Oh well. I cried for a majority of my talk, so there was no preventing it. I hate crying in front of people….shoot dang. Better get used to it.
I decided for some reason to post my talk below. It's embarrassing that I had to type it all out, but hey…give me a break! I've never given a 30-minute talk! I had no idea how to prepare. So try not to judge me too hard as you read it, because I never open up this much to anyone. I feel all vulnerable and stuff.
My Farewell Talk
Good
afternoon, everyone. My name is Kari Routsong. I’ve been a member of this ward
since I was just a little girl in primary, so I know most of you. I never
thought that I would actually be speaking at my own missionary farewell. I am
jealous of the girls who grew up wanting to go on a mission. It was never
something that I thought about! But the day has come, and here I stand before
you. I have been called to serve in the Bolivia Cochabamba Mission. I report on
April 8th to the Colombia MTC…I know, I didn’t even know they had an
MTC there either. But I am so excited!
Today, I have been asked to speak on Individual Worth and the Gifts of the Holy Spirit. I have a confession to make. I was a little worried when the bishop told me last week my topic and my allotted amount of time. Let’s just say that I have been praying all week for a testimony on 30-minute talks… But I was more nervous about the topic. I’ve always wanted to be a good example to others, and today that is still my goal. Farewells are always times when missionaries get up and are excellent examples to their ward. They have everything figured out, and are amazing. So I was nervous to speak at my own farewell on something that I have struggled with my whole life….Individual Worth. I’ve never had an assignment to speak that has been more inspired than this one, because I know that there are people in this audience that need to hear this message and much as I do. So please bear with me as I speak about one of my weaknesses that I am striving to make one of my strengths.
I’m pulling out my old Young Women’s ammunition for this talk. I found one quote from a very inspired Young Women’s leader online:
“Individual worth is simply knowing you are a child of God and then acting accordingly. Individual Worth is knowing that you are worth the price the Savior paid for each of us on the cross and in the Garden of Gethsemane. Individual Worth is accepting the gift of the Atonement into our lives. It is telling the Savior that we are indeed worth the price he paid for each of us. He thinks we are worth it, or He wouldn’t have done it. I hope that we can all remember who we truly are, sons and daughters of a loving Heavenly Father and Mother.”
I went right the Personal Progress book as I researched more about this talk. I found that the color for Individual Worth is red. Red reminds us of the blood of Christ. The Savior believed that there wasn’t any price too high to pay for us. He loved us so much that he willingly paid for us with His blood and His own life. He bled from every pore for us. He paid the infinite price. We are of great worth to the Lord and we should be to ourselves as well.
It is so important for us to have a testimony on that principle right there: that the Savior of the World died for US. If we truly understood how much He loved us, we wouldn’t degrade ourselves like we do every day. It is making a mockery of the Atonement when we belittle our Individual Worth. It is saying that the Savior suffered for nothing, because we are nothing, and that is so false.
I have always had a tendency to put myself down. I was always too afraid to fail, so I never tried anything. I never thought that I would amount to anything, so I never set goals for myself. I never dreamed. I always thought negatively about myself, and that affected my testimony. I felt alone and unwanted.
I believe Satan’s most successful tool is to get us to forget our individual worth. I remember being in middle school/high school. I remember changing who I was to fit in with others. I remember hating how I looked. I remember thinking that I had no talents or gifts. I remember feeling like I was of no value. Most of you have felt I have felt at one time in your life. This is how Satan wants us to feel. He is succeeding when we let that darkness into our lives. He wins when we feel this way about ourselves.
One thing I’ve learned from the scriptures is that everything that is good comes from God. God wants us to have joy in this life and in the life to come. He doesn’t want us to diminish our individual worth. He wants us to see our divine potential. Dieter F. Uchtdorf gave an amazing talk titled, “You Matter to Him.” President Uchtdorf details just how incomprehensible God’s love is for each of us.
“This is a paradox of man: compared to God, man is nothing; yet we are everything to God. While against the backdrop of infinite creation we may appear to be nothing, we have a spark of eternal fire burning within our breast. We have the incomprehensible promise of exaltation—worlds without end—within our grasp. And it is God’s great desire to help us reach it.”
Out of all the creations of God’s hands, He cares about us individually. The Lord uses a scale very different from the world’s to weigh the worth of a soul.
To quote President Uchtdorf again… “Disciples of Jesus Christ understand that compared to eternity, our existence in this mortal sphere is only “a small moment” in space and time. They know that a person’s true value has little to do with what the world holds in high esteem."
We may look at ourselves and see what the world would call “flaws”. We may talk badly about ourselves and wish that we were different. But God sees who you really are. He sees your divine potential. He sees all that you can become, and He loves you.
I want to share with you one of my favorite scriptures. I share it with everyone I know. It’s in Romans 8. I challenge all of you to read the entire chapter, but I’ll just read the last few verses.
Romans 8:35, 38-39
To quote from President Uchtdorf again:
“No matter where you live, no matter how humble your circumstances, how meager your employment, how limited your abilities, how ordinary your appearance, or how little your calling in the Church may appear to you, you are not invisible to your Heavenly Father. He loves you. He knows your humble heart and your acts of love and kindness. Together, they form a lasting testimony of your fidelity and faith. God sees you not only as a mortal being on a small planet who lives for a brief season—He sees you as His child. He sees you as the being you are capable and designed to become. He wants you to know that you matter to Him.”
We truly are children of God. We sang this growing up, but I think a lot of us have forgotten.
Talk about the love of a parent….
I apologize, because I haven’t fully discussed my whole topic yet, which is Individual Worth and the gifts of the spirit. I pondered the connection between these two topics for quite some time. After some time, I began to see just how inseparable these two seemingly distinct subjects are.
In 1 Corinthians 3:16-17, it reads: …..
Our bodies are sacred and holy because we have allowed the Spirit of God to dwell in them. This spirit is the Holy Ghost. We received His spirit when we were baptized, and we can remain worthy to have His presence when we do what is right. We receive personal and powerful gifts from the Holy Spirit when He dwells with us.
Let me read D&C 46:8-12…
We have all been given gifts of the Spirit through the Holy Ghost. When we no longer are worthy of the Holy Spirit, those gifts can be taken from us.
Let’s look to the example of Joseph Smith. David Whitmer writes,
"He [Joseph Smith] was a religious and straightforward man. He had to be; for he was illiterate and he could do nothing of himself. He had to trust in God. He could not translate unless he was humble and possessed the right feelings towards everyone. To illustrate so you can see. One morning when he was getting ready to continue the translation, something went wrong about the house and he was put out about it. Something that Emma, his wife, had done. Oliver and I went up stairs and Joseph came up soon after to continue the translation, but he could not do anything. He could not translate a single syllable. He went down stairs, out into the orchard, and made supplication to the Lord; was gone about an hour--came back to the house, asked Emma's forgiveness and then came up stairs where we were and then the translation went on all right. He could do nothing save he was humble and faithful."
Joseph lost one of his gifts of the spirit due to negative feelings towards Emma. Similarly, when we display negative feelings towards ourselves, we may lose our spiritual gifts.
We have a responsibility to treat our bodies like the literal temples that they are so that we may be blessed with the Spirit, and all of its wonderful gifts.
When we let those negative thoughts enter our holy temple, we lose the presence of the Holy Spirit. Those negative thoughts about ourselves (like I am not good enough, I can’t amount to anything, I am ugly, I wish I was more like so and so) are from Satan. We let darkness into our lives when we put ourselves down. The Holy Spirit cannot bless us with these wonderful gifts if we are surrounded by darkness.
We need not be in the world, but of the world.
Individual Worth allows us not only to retain these gifts, but also see other gifts that we may not have otherwise noticed.
I found a cute poem in my Young Women ammunition that I would like to share with you.
I looked in the mirror the other day--"You are divine" I heard a voice sayMy eyes were wide with much surprise,"Oh no I'm not, just see my eyes.They're much too small, I wish they were blue."The voice came again, "You are joyful and true."
I looked at my neighbor with such a sigh,"You are so thin!" was my weak cry.She seemed quite stunned, then said to me"Things aren't always what you see,I'd give anything if I were you. For you are righteous and truthful too."
I picked a book up off the shelf,Then knew I couldn't live with myselfI promptly put it in its place,then felt the Spirit taking place,"I knew you'd pick the one you should. You thirst for knowledge--That is good!"
I told my brother, "It's not funny,You are so rich with money!"He said, "I'm rich, that much is trueBut I would rather be like you.You're honest, good and always kind.People like you are hard to find."
It took a while but I caught on ,And soon my list of wishes was gone.How blessed I am from up aboveWith God and friends and joy and love.No money can buy these gifts of mine. I'm a daughter of God, and I'm divine!
….Or son of God, too!
When we focus on the vain things of the world, our list of wishes expands exponentially. However, if we remember our own individual worth, we can recognize all the gifts that Heavenly Father has bestowed upon us.
Heavenly Father has given us each unique and beautiful gifts to help us return to Him. We all receive different gifts, because we are all unique.
Sometimes it is hard for us to notice spiritual gifts because all we really hear about are the crazy intense ones like: the Gift of Healing or the Gift of Tongues (which I hope I get on my mission!). However, there are many gifts of the spirit that go unnoticed, but are just as valuable.
Marvin J. Ashton said, “One of the great tragedies of life, it seems to me, is when a person classifies himself [or herself] as someone who has no talents or gifts…For us to conclude that we have no gifts when we judge ourselves by stature, intelligence, grade-point average, wealth, power, position, or external appearance is not only unfair but unreasonable…God has given each of us one or more special talents. Socrates made the famous statement, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” It is up to each of us to search for and build upon the gifts which God has given…Let me mention a few gifts that are not always evident or noteworthy but that are very important. Among these may be your gifts—gifts not so evident but nevertheless real and valuable. Let us review some of these less-conspicuous gifts: the gift of asking; the gift of listening; the gift of hearing and using a still, small voice; the gift of being able to weep; the gift of avoiding contention; the gift of being agreeable; the gift of avoiding vain repetition; the gift of seeking that which is righteous; the gift of not passing judgment; the gift of looking to God for guidance; the gift of being a disciple; the gift of caring for others; the gift of being able to ponder; the gift of offering prayer; the gift of bearing a mighty testimony; and the gift of receiving the Holy Ghost.We must remember that to every man [and woman] is given a gift by the Spirit of God. It is our right and responsibility to accept our gifts and to share them. God’s gifts and powers are available to all of us.”
I challenge each of you to pray to be able to recognize the gifts you have been given. If there are any of you who struggle with Individual Worth like me, remember the words in D&C 18:10…
Or you could remember the words that Kid President said, “You were born to be awesome.”
Use the scale that Heavenly Father uses to measure your self-worth, and then you will be blessed with a greater portion of the Holy Spirit.
One of the many responsibilities that come with receiving spiritual gifts is sharing them with others, and using them to bless the lives of others.
In the book True to the Faith, it states, “Spiritual gifts are blessings or abilities that are given by the power of the Holy Ghost. God gives at least one of these gifts to every faithful member of the Church. As you receive these gifts, they will strengthen and bless you individually and help you serve others.”
I have come to gain a personal testimony that Heavenly Father has given me specific gifts of the spirit that I need to share with the people of Bolivia, and I would like to spend my last few minutes speaking about that.
I felt impressed to share with you why I decided to go on a mission, and how I have prepared.
Like I said before, growing up I never felt like I should serve a mission.Tell mission story:Getting closer to 21…The announcement.Your year of decison-making (BE STILL)Time goes by… I begin to think about it again. I begin to read Preach My Gospel.I began to immerse myself in the gospel. I started truly studying the scriptures instead of just reading them.I was starting to love the gospel like never before.Your decision made in August.CONFERENCE. “Be not afraid, only believe.”I decided to no longer let fear rule my life.Got my call! Tears flooded my eyes. Heavenly Father needed me somewhere.
BOLIVIA?! Share a few things about Bolivia.Feet potatoes…. Women peeing in the street…. Poorest country in S. America….crazy! Heavenly Father will give me strength.
Your family.
My whole point in sharing this big long story with you is to show you that Christ can change you like He changed me. He can soften your heart. He can make you better. But you have to do your part. I only changed when I began to come closer to Him. When I immersed myself in the gospel.
How have you prepared?Didn’t feel like I had a strong enough testimony of the Book of Mormon.That book testifies of the Savior on every single page.
We have been given this glorious privilege of being Disciples of Christ. We can show others that we can have happiness right now. True, deep, eternal happiness.
I want to share one more quote from probably the coolest person on the planet:
“There are lives to brighten. There are hearts to touch. There are souls to save."
- Thomas S. Monson
Do your part in saving others. Someone somewhere in this world is looking for exactly what you have to offer. We each have a unique mission to fulfill on this earth.
I love this gospel. I am so excited to serve my Savior, and the people of Bolivia. I know that Jesus Christ lives, and He loves us individually. He blesses us with so many gifts. He wants us to be happy.
AMEN!
Side note: I said goodbye to this beautiful girl today for 18-months. I don't even want to talk about how hard it was to say goodbye to her. I love her more than anything in the world. She is such a great example to me, and she is going to be an amazing missionary in Mexico City!
